How Do You Know You Are in a Toxic Relationship?

3 min readFeb 21, 2024

Look For These 11 Signs

Relationships are work. Everyone has difficulties. Toxic Relationships take difficult to an unbearable level. If you are wondering if you may be in a toxic relationship, here are 11 signs that will help you to make that determination.

You may have experienced all or some of these 11 signs:

Insults: When a person makes a negative statement about another person, even their partner to make themselves feel good or seem more important or smarter. A negative statement or comparison that makes their partner seem less than. It is defined as a disrespectful or scornfully abusive remark or action.

Emotional Abuse: Any act including confinement, isolation, verbal assault, humiliation, intimidation, infantilization, or any other treatment which may diminish the sense of identity, dignity, and self-worth.

Selfishness: The act of lacking consideration for others; being concerned chiefly with one’s own personal convenience, profit, or pleasure.

Cheating: The partner’s sexual or emotional needs or wants are more important to them than the other partner’s feelings and/or being honest. The partner goes outside the relationship for sexual and emotional gratification.

Physical Abuse: Physical abuse is the use of physical force by the abuser against someone in a way that endangers or injures that person. This would also include intimidation.

Dishonesty: Deceitfulness shown in someone’s character or behavior, such lying, and deceitfulness of all kinds.

Blaming: Assigning the responsibility for the abuser’s bad behavior to someone else. Blaming is verbal aggression.

Fighting instead of communicating: Screaming, yelling, and sabotaging the the conversation because the abuser is afraid to speak the truth like an adult.

Pretense: Abusers will hide their true self in public, with friends, and family. Victims will hide the abuse they endure to the public, friends, and family. The pretense is designed to make others think all is well when in reality behind closed doors the family/victim(s) is terrorized by the abuser.




RB is a retired psychotherapist, storyteller, genealogists and lover of family.