Help! What Am I Doing Wrong!

RB
4 min readFeb 21, 2024

Toxic Relationships

It can happen to the best of us. You are not alone. There is help.

Some of us stay in a toxic relationship much longer than anybody with half a brain should. But for whatever reason, we just keep going back for more, long after most others would have walked out the door.

Maybe we have a twisted sense of love. Maybe through circumstances of our choosing, we linger out of some misguided sense of duty.

The answer is not simple. Things get complicated. For whatever reason, we will be robbed of precious time and ultimately destroyed if we stay.

Does this mean we are weak? There’s no clear answer to that question. All we know is that even Superman was brought to his knees by the green rock, Kryptonite.

The Psychology of Toxicity

If we are in an unhealthy relationship and keep repeating the same behaviors, thinking things will get better… guess what… we are in a toxic relationship.

In the beginning of the relationship, we often feel an overwhelming need for the object of our desire. Soon their ‘love’ becomes jealousy. We feel worthless. The verbal abuse is a crazy maker. You are in chaos and can’t find the door…

Call it toxic or weakness, we need to avoid them like the plague. If at all possible establish a rule of ‘no contact.’

For whatever reason, you are susceptible to their ‘powers.’

Don’t blame the toxic person for being toxic. It is who they choose to be. If we are around them, we will be undone. GET AWAY from them. Lessons hard-won.

We can come up with all kinds of reasons to continue in the relationship. We think we can’t live without that person; they are the only one. Fixing the relationship becomes our main focus. If only we could say or do the right thing everything would be set right.

If you are hurting and miserable… something needs to change. It’s you.

The Addictive Nature of Toxic Relationships

When we are in a toxic relationship, it is like an addiction. We think we can’t live without them… that’s how addiction destroys. Get out!

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RB

RB is a retired psychotherapist, storyteller, genealogists and lover of family.